Things They Don't Teach You in Highschool

Can you dream a dream?

Or am I just dreaming?

Fragments of memories scatter through my mind,

as I frantically try to piece them back together.

Am I wasting time?

Or is time wasting me?

Hanging on to every piece of the past,

I cannot seem to bear with myself.

Do I anger my imagination?

Or does my imagination anger me?

Every question that is thrown at me,

is now answered without a single ounce of creativity.

Is my happiness gone?

Or have I just given up?

I can't seem to figure out my purpose anymore,

does that mean I am not significant in this life?… Read the rest

To My Kung Fu Teacher

He is a hoary lion
with hands as hard as bricks.
His laughter is as booming
as a thunder god's dirty tricks.
His presence is robust,
not one can dismiss the man.
His kindly, aged eyes,
his skin as rough as sand.
His scars are plenty,
the life he's had to lead.
But one thing we have in common
is the frequency we bleed.
His beard is sage-like,
whipping like a bear.
His generosity and love
are as thick as his hair,
white and maniacal.
He could crush our face.
But he'd rather play with children
and include us in his grace.
He was a pauper master
without an evil thought.
I will never forget the man
or the wonderful things he taught.… Read the rest

What is in a Teachers Name

With schools beginning across the country, I decided to review some of the last names of teachers that I have come across. This is not to belittle or make fun of anyone. Ninety nine percent of these individuals were excellent educators. I just wanted to provide a flashback to the days we were in school. Feel free to add to the list in the comment section.

Mrs. English, Mrs. Crabtree, Miss Purdy, Mr. Grump, Mr. Stone, Mr. Washington, Mrs. Chalk, Mr. Lunchpale, Mr. Coffy, Mrs. Carberry, Miss Shoes, Miss Hickey, Mr. Locks, Mr. Crabaze, Mrs. Wright, Dr. Drizzle, Mrs. Stern, Miss Chief, Mr. Ruyle, Mrs. Skool, Mr Hollway, Miss Pleaze, and my favorite of all time is Miss Gititwright.

Have a nice day!… Read the rest

Teach the Preach

Where is Joseph Smith in the Bible?
Nowhere, Joseph Smith wasn’t born until December 23, 1805.
Maybe you should be more factual.
“Do you know Satan and Jesus Christ are not brothers?
With those two questions, you tried to hand me a lot of jive.

This Mormon woman has got to
Teach the Preach.

I am a MORMON,
not a MORON.
You are a bigot, maybe
you should try being
Then you can
better lead your flock

This Mormon woman has got to
Teach the Preach.

There is only One
who judges.
It is not you.

~Therese Anne Schmidt~
Tuesday, July 24, 2012… Read the rest

The Woes and Tribulations of the Substitute Teacher

Substitute teacher,
Class of woes,
There goes Gary picking his nose.
There goes Shirley texting Mary Lou,
And Goof Ball Harry is playing his kazoo.
Mike is chewing on a chocolate bar,
While Mary is strumming her electric guitar.
Thomas Smith is rocking in his chair,
While Laurie Banks is brushing her hair.
Big Lou Rocker is swearing a lot.
He’s complaining that his video game system is shot.
Billy Bumper is telling a joke
About an ogre and a frog that croaked.
Jill and Jack are playing a game
That Wally says is really lame.
All at once, the bell rings.
The students yell, the students scream.
The substitute teacher
Is starting to shake.
Her class is like one
Giant earthquake.… Read the rest

Free Tote Bag for Teachers at Michael's Arts and Crafts

On Sunday, August 21, Michael's Arts and Crafts stores are offering free tote bags to teachers as a back to school promotion. This tote giveaway is available from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. at participating Michaels stores.

Teachers must show a valid educator ID to receive the free tote bag.

The same day, Michael's is offering the following free back to school events. These craft projects are for children ages 3 and older:

– Artists Trading Cards, 11:00 to 1:00 p.m.
– Foam Print Event from 11:00 to 3:00 p.m.
– Collaborative Painting from 11:00 to 3:00 p.m.

All of these events and make it and take it projects are available while supplies last.… Read the rest

Teachers Surprise

I had studied all night

With so much to get right…

And it all crambed up in my head.

When the test had begun

I couldn't wait to get done,

But the questions all looked kind of blurry.

The teacher said stop!

You could hear a pin drop,

And I chanced turning my head.

To the boy in the back,

Who really had quite a knack…

Of making the teacher quite surly.

With his head down,

He failed to see us gather round,

As the teacher planned to get even.

And with a big snake.

She laid into place,

We were sure that he wouldn't remember,

To open the door

As he flew across the floor,

And disappeared with out a second for reason… Read the rest

Gardner: A Sonnet for Teachers

What have thy loving hands to bestow,

On barren fields none ever pough?

What I observe to be persisting toil,

Immersing seeds in embracive soil.

As plants grow misfortune may impose upon,

Yet thy tenderest care alone shelter on.

Sweat thou spreadest be the nourshing rain,

Penetrates aridity and sooths withered veins.

Paths thou followest prosperous with vivid blooms,

As if bleakness is condemned to its eternal dooms.

I cherish the fruits of thy assiduous deeds,

The flowers of tomorrow shall never cease.

O! If thou dream of roots shall someday from earth free,

Then, the gardener of human minds must thou surely be.… Read the rest